I feel extremely fortunate to have limited my shingles pain to a fortnight, and by the end of the third week am feeling almost back to normal, except for a lingering malaise each afternoon, the loss of muscle mass and the gain of several pounds (though not all the pounds can be attributed to shingles confinement and comfort eating – most of them were gained over the last four months worth of three IVF cycles’ bloating drugs and the comfort eating that went along with things not working out. The shingles just put back my attempt at losing them for another three weeks).
However. I am now back at the gym (slowly slowly – 30 mins on the cross trainer 3-4 x week until I feel up to a weight training class. I’m thinking next Friday, perhaps) and I have been at yoga class once each week for the past two. Over the last fortnight I have also had a bowen session, a reflexology appointment and today a shiatsu massage. I can almost feel myself under there, rising to the surface. I can’t say how much I appreciate seeing the light at the end of the tunnel, and so soon. I am also grateful to be hugged by people and not to have to jump away shouting “Please don’t touch my shingles!” “Not my shingles!” Being hugged or patted on the back in that exact spot was sadly an all too regular event, even by people who should have known better (i.e. I had told them repeatedly in no uncertain terms). Oh the terror a greeting or farewell instilled in me. I can’t stress that enough. It was torture.
As with miscarriage stories, when I started sharing my shingles story, I was surprised at how many people I knew had suffered from shingles in their lives. And boy, do I mean suffer! Several stories included being totally bed bound for at least five weeks, even before the hint of a main recovery. And my shiatsu practitioner told me today she knows of a woman whose husband has had shingles for two years. TWO YEARS!? “That’s insane”, I said, “I’d shoot myself”. She replied, “He’s seriously considering it. When his wife goes away she says she hopes he is still there when she gets home”. That’s a pretty sobering thought. But I can see his perspective.
The rash never materialised, thanks, I think, to the quick anti-viral response. I have an itch now and again, just to remind me, and like I said – I can do a good morning’s work, but then need to take it easy for the rest of the day. I know, I know- you don’t believe me. How is it possible for me to take it easy? OK, I admit to probably jamming in a bit more than a morning’s work into a morning, but then I have been spending an hour or two in bed after lunch. Maybe not exactly sleeping. Maybe watching all of Weeds up to the end of season four, and playing on my bridge program, but you know – that counts as resting. Surely?
So that’s the shingles update. If you are still with me, I have a donor egg situation update to follow, but it kind of gets a little bit lost in a side story…
Donor plans update: chosen the donor; made the appointment for the counselling sessions; had the counselling sessions; now in the 3 month cooling off period. Yup. Even with shingles, I managed to hobble along and say all the right things. Also, I connected much more with the counsellor we had this time, which was a good feeling. However, the trip was exhausting.
DH and I drove up to Perth early in the morning on the Monday of my second week of shingles, spent three hours at the clinic doing counselling stuff, then had lunch with the donor and her partner and his three kids (I cannot tell you how good they were, amusing themselves in the kitchen of the clinic with books and colouring in and hot chocolates. They did not once whinge, cry, fight or raise their voices. Incredible). Then I forget what we did next but it seemed important at the time, and then we drove to DH’s Mum’s place where we stayed the night before driving to Bunbury where DH was doing an anaesthetic list Tuesday lunchtime. We managed to squeeze in an hour at the bed store, where we purchased a new mattress for our bed.
WARNING- MAJOR SEGUE APPROACHING
[Woot! It is pure latex with a 100% organic cotton cover. King sized. We put it on lay by (what with the money we’ve been shelling out for treatments etc, plus the quarterly tax bill this month) but had a windfall this payday and I paid it off this afternoon, with delivery on Monday. OMG.
After ten plus years (ok, more like 15) on a hard hard hard futon which was doing my back in, in about 2005 we splashed out and bought what we thought was a deluxe king sized bed. Anyway, we got talked into a honking great pillowtop which ended up creating a mound in the middle and two craters on either side and eventually DH just couldn’t find it comfortable anymore. So we moved the mattress into the guest cottage (resting on a couple of wooden palettes for air flow) and put two hand-me-down single mattresses (from DH’s family) onto the king sized base. My mattress is ok. Nice, even. I got the good mattress because I have a back problem. DH’s mattress is saggy and the springs creak. Basically, it is shit. I never visit him over on his side.
Finally he had had enough and we bandied about the idea of shelling out for another mattress, but it never seemed to get to the top of the priority list of things to spend money on. Plus we never seemed to have time to go shopping for one. It is a major undertaking, after all. And we didn’t want to get burned again, and couldn’t figure out the best way to make decision that was right, given you can’t really take it home on appro and sleep on it for a month and then give it back when you don’t end up liking it. Can you? Or can you? So when the opportunity arose, we grabbed it with both hands and took the plunge. You could have counted it as a spur of the moment thing, except for the fact it took us years to get around to it.
Towards the end of the deliberating period, we were down to a choice of two – hopping between them, listing their merits, when DH said, “Lie on your side, I want to see how you lay on this one” So I lay, but not on my side, apparently, I was more on my back. “No, on your side. You’re on your back” So I rolled over “No, now you’re on your front! Lie on your SIDE. I want to look at the curvature of your SPINE” And as he says this, I roll onto my side and he runs his hand down the side of my spinal cord, just to demonstrate. My shingles side. I must have scared the sales woman halfway to hell with my bloodcurdling scream. Thankfully there were no other customers in the store. It was pretty loud. And fierce. And accompanied by a roaring “NOT MY SHINGLES!”]
Ok, so that’s the bed story. Back to the main passage about, what was it again? Oh yes. Then I had to drop DH off at the hospital and attend to a list of things to buy (fish food, slow cooker, hand towels, among other things, and I had so wanted to have a look in the op shops) but it turned out that I could only manage the hand towels because I was so completely exhausted I had to simply drive to a friend’s house and collapse on her sofa for the afternoon. I just sat there drinking tea and eating baci chocolates. And so did she, because guess what? She had shingles too! Ha ha. What are the chances? So she was totally exhausted, and we both sat there like lumps, along with her husband who was also totally exhausted with some kind of strep throat situation. Barrel of laughs, we were.
That was last Tuesday. Wednesday I had a hair appointment in Busselton (3hr round trip) which you may be quite proud of me for cancelling. I did realise that it was an unnecessary and somewhat foolish enterprise given my current state, so I stayed home. In bed. All day. Scout’s honour.
Back to the donor plans, and I can’t believe how quickly we have managed to set the ball rolling. How lucky am I to have such amazing friends who offer such amazing gifts? I keep having to pinch myself. (But not on the shingles).
Things are going well. Counselling is done. Next she has to pass muster with the gynae, to get a physical clean bill of health to go ahead. Strictly speaking that should have been done before the counselling, but she lives in Sydney, was returning there before the doctor got back from his hols, and the kind counsellor let it go through to the keeper. Phew. She has private health cover so does not need to deal with Dr annoying, she can have the same doctor as me (Dr T). She is very proactive and made her appointment with him (for September) the very next day after counselling was passed. I feel good about not having to be a go-between.
Now I just hope she doesn’t change her mind in the cool off period (though that’s entirely her prerogative and I won’t hate her for it) and then we sort out when the final counselling session will be, and go ahead with IVF cycle #6 Donor#2 Cycle#1 sometime in early December.
Meanwhile, it is back to healthy living, losing weight, reclaiming my body and detoxing from the cocktail of drugs I have been ingesting since March.
I am SO ready for this break.
And man, I can’t wait for the new bed! I just hope we like it…
