So, today is cd4. Tomorrow I begin my third cycle with femara, taking those innocuous looking tablets from cd5 (Saturday 11th Oct) to cd9 (Wednesday 15th October). The first two cycles, obviously, have been unsuccessful. The Dr mentioned my cycle could be longer: ovulate later and lengthen out my luteal phase. Ha. I used to ovulate on day 17. Last cycle I ovulated day 15 or even 14, and my luteal phase was either the same old 10 days it has always been, or an alarming 9 days. Does anyone out there know how long I should give this drug before assuming it is not going to change my cycle length?
I do it because I am looking forward to the opportunity for a strong ovulation and perhaps the chance of twins. What I am not looking forward to: the wooziness; the loss of memory and problem solving ability (both of which have deteriorated over the past two months and have not returned after I stopped taking the pills); feeling like I am almost drunk enough that the room is about to start spinning out of control at any moment, while at the same time feeling thick headed as if I smoked way too much the night before. I am not looking forward to having to function socially while in this condition, feeling like all I want to do is go and have a good lie down. I’m not looking forward to the part where my ovaries swell almost as painfully as during an IVF cycle. And I’m particularly not looking forward to the part where my period comes bang on time, with the same old 10 day luteal phase (that the drug has not lengthened in the least) after a murderous-rage-inducing PMS, and I’ve gone through the whole thing for absolutely no gain.
I have a wedding to attend tomorrow afternoon, and I’d like to be able to enjoy it more than I think I will be able. I’ll be in bed by 11pm when the drugs kick in precisely 6 hrs after I take them. I need to say this: I really resent this crap interfering with my life.
My writing has suffered over the past two weeks, while I have been attempting to get the garden organised enough so we can safely leave it for the five days we will be gone. DH was out there this afternoon, post-work, finishing off reticulation and moving pots so they’ll be covered by an automatic sprinkler. Because we’ve been too busy to get the shade house constructed, having spent all our available moments on finishing the fruit orchard.
And I have busted a gut to get the summer seedlings in this week, which has also eaten into my study time. Yes, I am feeling a tad overwhelmed.
However, DH is on a two week break as of tonight. We will go to yoga class in the morning (having packed tonight), collect our neighbour’s eggs and asparagus and head off to Denmark (no, not Europe!) by 11am. The wedding is at 3, the reception at 5.30. Sunday we will backtrack to Walpole where DH’s colleague owns a holiday cottage on the edge of a national park, and we will hole up there with no phone, internet or tv, until Wednesday. We will go bush walking and admire the wildflowers. We will wander along the beach and possibly even take a dip. I am taking my crayons, coloured pencils, writing journal and Artist’s Way book, some novels, a sudoku and crossword book, and a scrabble board. Oh and my binoculars and bird book. And maybe my yoga mat. And I am going to forget about study and the garden and all the household chores left unattended. I’m going to rustle up some gourmet dinners and snacks and maybe have an afternoon nap or two. And thanks to being on femara for the whole trip, I’m going to be having some early nights…
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