Today DH and I signed the surrogacy agreement document, which marks, officially, the beginning of our (hopefully final) three month cooling off period. I posted it off (express) to my lawyer, along with the surrogacy application form (you know, on the new forms we filled out). She will then post them all off to the clinic, and hoo-fucking-ray, we get three months holiday from all this shit. On Monday I will phone the clinic and book our (final) counselling session/s for Monday 13th of June. (That will be a Moet moment!) And then I will put it all down and step away from the micro-management and take a well earned break, and hope (yes, HOPE) that the RTC will pass us, come June. Not that we will be able to go ahead with a cycle until August, but it will be damn nice to have permission to go ahead. See how I am being uncharacteristically optimistic here? Actually hoping (confident expectation) that we will get the green light? And you all thought I was a dyed-in-the-wool out-and-out pessimist! I hope God doesn’t strike me down for changing my attitude.
Actually, I am thinking of changing my allegiances. From Moet to Piper Heidsieck. Did you think I was going to tell you I had switched to born-again Christianity? Sorry folks, you’ll be waiting a while for that one.
[In addition to the above exciting development, in other celebratory news we achieved another milestone today. We kind of paid off our home loan. I say kind of, because it’s complicated, in the way these financial things generally are. It involves a bit of creative financial finagling that the tax man strictly might not think was kosher. In actuality, we ‘borrowed’ forty grand from another account, which was technically part of a loan for upcoming {starting May -watch this space for bitching and moaning about builders} extensions to the surgery building, and we are hoping the tax man doesn’t audit us in the next year because I’m sure he wouldn’t approve the use of the money going on the home loan. Sshhh. So we are still having to pay back $800 a week for the next year, but on PAPER the home loan is clear and done. This doesn’t mean we are debt free by any stretch of the imagination. Between the building extension loan, the quarter share of the building itself, and the outstanding money for the paddock our orchard and gardens are on, we still owe the bank the best part of half a million bucks. But hey, on PAPER our home loan is paid out. If we needed another reason to crack open the bubbly tonight].
Which of course, we don’t, because, hey, we signed the surrogacy agreement today! In recognition of this quite amazing feat of perseverance, I would like to share with you a little something I found on a surrogacy site I belong to. It is written from the perspective of a surrogate. It brings a tear to my eye.
A Dream (Surrogacy Poem)
by Lain
Our friendship started differently,
Than most friendships I’ve had.
We had to search each other out,
because of something sad.
A precious child to fill your hearts,
Is what you’re longing for.
Infertility has made it hard,
to open up that door.
And so a search began for you,
to find a helping heart.
So similar to my own search,
not knowing where to start.
For me, the search is special,
it requires such great care.
A couple to have a child…
the fruit my search must bare.
Now we’ve found each other,
so much more real it seems.
Through faith and hope and honesty,
we’re moving toward your dream.
But the dream we have,
it is the same, a dream that’s filled with firsts.
First smiles, first laughs, first steps, first words.
All starting with a birth.
Often times I find myself wondering what it’s like,
to have to trust a stranger with such a precious life.
And though I can’t imagine,all that you’ve been through,
I hope you know I’ll do my best to bring a child to you.
Surrogacy is something not everyone can do.
But I’ve been so blessed in my life,
I’m drawn to helping you.
Some people call us Angels, us surro-moms to be.
But I don’t feel angelic, I just feel like me.
Our journey is just starting,
and no one knows the end.
I pray it brings to you a child,
and brings to me a friend.
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