So.
Having just finished the gruelling two weeks of IVF and genetic testing, retrieving 2 eggs, both fertilising; thawing out the frozen embryo from May and testing all three, the verdict? – All three were genetically abnormal. Well, two were definitely genetically abnormal (aneuploidy 15; aneuploidy 15 AND Trisomy 22) and the third was so fragmented and damaged that they couldn’t get a definitive reading, and said it was likely to succumb before making it to blastocyst anyway.
This means we have nothing to put back in the surrogate. It also means we’d be fools to try again with my eggs when it is now abundantly clear they are very damaged. We could do cycle after cycle and hope for the miracle normal egg, but the odds are not good and I’m not willing to play.
Meanwhile, we have (both) had the initial consult(s) with the Lawyer(s), and are all also proceeding with the psych testing in the next couple of weeks, because I guess there is a chance we might somehow come up with another egg donor and we may as well hedge our bets after putting this much effort in anyway. Also, it can’t hurt to have some independent emotional guidance/support/facilitation through the next steps of decision making.
There is a chance the surrogate will use her eggs. She is happy to do this, but we yet don’t know how her husband feels about the idea. Also, the Reproductive Technology Council will look less favourably on our case if we do use her eggs and may not pass our application. I think they see it as more of a risk that the surrogate will want to keep the baby after the birth. The risk of that shouldn’t be their decision to make, I know, but things are the way there are, and life’s not fair.
The legal way around THAT problem is then to bypass the RTC, have her do an IVF cycle with DH’s sperm and once a baby is born, have him on the birth certificate as the father and her as the mother. Then I apply for parenting rights after the birth.
So now we are waiting to see what M’s husband thinks of this new idea. If he doesn’t like it then we either stop now, or I go through the process of finding a new donor and signing them up.
Right now I can’t say what I think I’ll choose. Just need to process this latest disappointment and the loss of a genetically related child.
And did I ever mention how sick I am of all this crap?