IVF #4 cycle day 13 – no Aces would be an understatement.

Did you ever have one of those cards hands that you knew you should throw in, but played anyway and then regretted it?

Today was one of those.

Started with getting up earlier that I would have liked, to be early at the clinic so I wouldn’t have to be 5th in line for the ultrasound by the time I got there.  Somehow I was later than I wanted leaving, and ended up being 6th in line anyway.  Then who should call me in for my scan, but my EX-Gynae who I dumped for being an emotional retard (and he’s been sulking about it, after having taken on my donor as a patient because no one else would due to lack of insurance cover).  Sigh.  So I sucked it up and made nice, smiled brightly and wished him good morning, “Hi Dr Mazz, how’s tricks?”.  To be met with stony silence.  Right.  That’s how we’re playing it, are we?   He handed me a tissue, said “here you are” and “put your knees up”, told the nurse my follicle sizes, extracted the wand and turned on his heel, abruptly leaving the room.  Not once did he make eye contact.  I felt like a total sack of shit.  I wanted to ask him about any extra follies he might be able to see and about my lining, but of course, the atmosphere was less than conducive.

And this is the guy we have to deal with if we want to do surrogacy through that clinic.  I don’t know if I can.  I hate to seem all immature and petulant myself, but I can’t work with a guy who operates at the emotional level of a 3 year old.

Anyway, the rest of the morning was an endless stream of driving. traffic lights, stopping at shops (finding parking) and mostly discovering the items I wanted were unavailable.  At least 2 hrs passed in this way.  Then I spent another hour plus in Spotlight, picking up some art stuff and searching for dress/skirt material (plus patterns).  Actually, I must have been closer to two hours in there, 25 mins of that in the queue to get the material cut to length.  Meanwhile I texted my friend the news I would be late for lunch.  About half an hour late as it turned out.  Especially helped along by not being able to turn right out of the store, and doing a massive detour (more red lights and long traffic queues) to get onto the freeway.

Lunch was a nice interlude, but the stereo right in my ear didn’t do much to create a feeling of calmness.  And my friend is about as overwhelmed as I am at the moment (albeit with different shit, but you know, in the end, the result is the same crappo feeling).  So a right pair we made.  However, catching up with her (even though neither of us was at our best) was the highlight and only good part of the day, so thank god for that!

Still had to make two shop stops on the way home, banged my shoulder with the car door, my breadstick end got broken off, the Coles checkout man was all chatty and I had to say “save it buddy, I am in a foul mood.  Don’t waste your breath on me.”

Really, it was my own fault.  At 8.15 when I felt like I just wanted to go home and crawl back into bed, I should have listened.

So anyway, egg collection is going to be Wednesday.  My E2 is now 2,600, so no big jump from yesterday.  Dominant follie is 25mm and from what I could gather from sulky pants, I still only have about 5 or 6 eggs.   I guess I was hoping for more, especially since we have decided to do PGS.  The prospect of having none to freeze is hugely depressing.

Which is why I am just going to have another chocolate and go dabble with the oil paints.  The less I think about any of this shit, the better off I will be.

Thanks for continuing to play along.  How was YOUR day?